Only 90s Kids Will Get This [So he’s wandering around the Ship, as you do, looking for things to do. What sort of things? Any of them. So far he’s found a Garden (fresh out of pumpkins) and a whole bunch of rooms you would find on a spaceship. He’s about to head to the Mess Hall and grab a space snack when he hears the siren call of electronic beeps and boops. Not just any beeps and boops, oh no, those are definitely video game beeps and boops.
That’s how he finds the Lounge. More importantly, that’s how he finds the TV in the lounge. Not just any TV, a TV the size of-- he doesn’t know, Neptune?]
Holy shit.
[Yeah, he’s not leaving.]
Duck Hunt [What is this, some kind of Renaissance Faire run by robots? He wonders if he can find an overpriced turkey leg somewhere around here. Although wait, what if it’s a robotic turkey leg? That’s a thing, isn’t it? Well, maybe not. What’s definitely a thing are some robots standing around throwing tomatoes at him. Maybe robotic tomatoes.]
Wait, don’t you need those for food? Or do you just grow them to throw at human interlopers?
[Of course, throwing and hitting aren’t the same thing. Being generally floaty and fly-y helps dodge the latter. Just a bit. Although John thinks they might be getting madder every time he ducks and avoids getting red on his face.]
Ooh, almost got me that time! [John, don’t encourage them.]
Wax On, Wax Off [Insect cyborgs sign him the hell up. John wonders if these are the kind with the metal parts underneath or the kind with the metal parts on top (there is sometimes confusion on this point). It seems kinda boring if they’re gonna go through all the Effort of making some huge bug but make it look like— well, a huge bug. But he’s also never seen a grasshopper the size of a car before, so. The least he can do is pay for a ride to— uh, where do these carriages go, exactly?
Too late, everybody on board the Cyborg Express. Unfortunately, the Cyborg Express doesn’t seem to have rails or brakes. This is a problem, especially when it starts riding up on the sidewalk and bulldozing people over. He floats out of the carriage and tries to pull on the— what do you use to control a cyborg grasshopper anyway? reins?— to get it to slow down or stop or do a thing that isn’t crash.]
Everybody out of the way! Come on, Miyagi, slow down! [Grrr. Do grasshoppers even have ears?]
John Egbert | Homestuck
[So he’s wandering around the Ship, as you do, looking for things to do. What sort of things? Any of them. So far he’s found a Garden (fresh out of pumpkins) and a whole bunch of rooms you would find on a spaceship. He’s about to head to the Mess Hall and grab a space snack when he hears the siren call of electronic beeps and boops. Not just any beeps and boops, oh no, those are definitely video game beeps and boops.
That’s how he finds the Lounge. More importantly, that’s how he finds the TV in the lounge. Not just any TV, a TV the size of-- he doesn’t know, Neptune?]
Holy shit.
[Yeah, he’s not leaving.]
Duck Hunt
[What is this, some kind of Renaissance Faire run by robots? He wonders if he can find an overpriced turkey leg somewhere around here. Although wait, what if it’s a robotic turkey leg? That’s a thing, isn’t it? Well, maybe not. What’s definitely a thing are some robots standing around throwing tomatoes at him. Maybe robotic tomatoes.]
Wait, don’t you need those for food? Or do you just grow them to throw at human interlopers?
[Of course, throwing and hitting aren’t the same thing. Being generally floaty and fly-y helps dodge the latter. Just a bit. Although John thinks they might be getting madder every time he ducks and avoids getting red on his face.]
Ooh, almost got me that time! [John, don’t encourage them.]
Wax On, Wax Off
[Insect cyborgs sign him the hell up. John wonders if these are the kind with the metal parts underneath or the kind with the metal parts on top (there is sometimes confusion on this point). It seems kinda boring if they’re gonna go through all the Effort of making some huge bug but make it look like— well, a huge bug. But he’s also never seen a grasshopper the size of a car before, so. The least he can do is pay for a ride to— uh, where do these carriages go, exactly?
Too late, everybody on board the Cyborg Express. Unfortunately, the Cyborg Express doesn’t seem to have rails or brakes. This is a problem, especially when it starts riding up on the sidewalk and bulldozing people over. He floats out of the carriage and tries to pull on the— what do you use to control a cyborg grasshopper anyway? reins?— to get it to slow down or stop or do a thing that isn’t crash.]
Everybody out of the way! Come on, Miyagi, slow down! [Grrr. Do grasshoppers even have ears?]