Multiversal travel can be disorienting, but there’s no need to worry! All side effects are temporary and lessen with each trip. Your body may experience several sensations at once: being pushed forward as if a hand is resting on your back, momentary and startling blindness, a gentle ringing in your head. You may have difficulty discerning whether it is hot or cold, but where you have been prodded is noticeably warmer than the rest of you. Some may suffer dizziness while others are perfectly fine. You notice that the area you are in is filled with a soft cerulean light and feels slightly humid and dark despite the glow around you. Regardless of your current state, however, the stress of transit forces your body into unconsciousness.
Waking up is another story. Or maybe it isn’t.
You find yourself in a nondescript room; sometimes with others who have found themselves in the same situation, sometimes alone. Welcome to Avagi Station, your new home.
Avagi
That First Step, it is a Doozy:
There are always risks to exploring new environments and Avagi is rich with new nooks and crannies to explore. You’re checking out a new corridor that’s been opened, though there have been signs warning that there are areas where structural stability has been weakened by neglect and the passage of time. But maybe things have been going well, you’ve found a few interesting things of note and you’re ready to head back to your bunk for the day.
Except when you turn to leave, the floor is giving way without a screech of metal. Hopefully you’ve got some good reflexes and can catch yourself before you topple down a shaft that seems to go down at least thirty or forty feet. Do you call for help or struggle to handle it on your own? And more importantly, how are you getting around this giant hole in the floor now that it’s there?
The Buddy System:
In order to help new arrivals find their bearings the more experienced residents on board have decided to try out the buddy system in order until the new arrivals get their space legs. The guide is responsible for answering any questions, showing them all the important facilities and making sure their new friend doesn’t wander anywhere too dangerous. And what better way to get to know your buddy than to try and help them find all the supplies they need to be comfortable in their new home? Hopefully the barter blocks have some clothes in your size or else it could get a little bit awkward come laundry day.
Shining Bright:
The Observation Station is the best place on Avagi to get a look at the storm that rages all around. However today when you stop by there’s something strange and new to look upon. It’s not clear if it’s a change in the environment or perhaps an effect of the living energy that opens the portals but the entire room is filled with softly glowing floating lights. If you venture into the room and dare to touch one of the lights you’ll find that you find a song playing in your mind that fills you with a deep and abiding sense of peace. What you do with that feeling is up to you but it seems that these lights aren’t going to cause any harm then why not let yourself relax in a beautiful space for a little while?
Kaittos
This month there is a portal to the planet Kaittos, a peaceful world containing one large land mass and a scattering of lived-on islands across a clear blue ocean. On the mainland, a large city-state occupies the central region and southern coast and resembles what some travelers from some versions of Earth might know of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Bustling and lively, the city is clean and well provided-for due to the temperate climate and the bountiful natural resources found on its northern side; orchards, farms and forests extend into the distance, butting up against a small mountain range. The technology level is low compared to Avagi, with carriages and candles in place rather than cars and electric lights, but the craftsmen of the world have managed some very impressive mechanical feats.
Kaittans, the local residents of the world appear somewhat humanoid, but the bipedal race has hooves rather than feet, silvery skin and three eyes with vertical pupils. Although there is no sign of any other sentient species in the world, the locals are nonetheless excited to meet their guests, rather than suspicious or afraid; for some reason, they are not surprised that aliens exist, merely that they are here.
Visitors are encouraged to explore the city and partake in an exchange of goods and ideas, to share their culture and stories with the locals. Perhaps there’s a merchant willing to trade a bauble for a story or you want to try something entirely unknown to your palette in the culinary quarter. The possibilities, while not quite limitless, are enough to keep the curious busy for quite a while.
(His hands automatically fly up to his hair, self-conscious of him suddenly being bald. As if that were at all possible. But his hands fly down just as quickly.)
It is not! And no! I wouldn't be bald! I have nice hair.
(But it does beg the question still of what the actual hell was happening. At least Eddie's got some sort of theory...
He looks around and gestures at the space they're in.)
Look at where we are. There's literally aliens everywhere. Maybe....Maybe we just. I don't know. Wait-
(Suddenly he grows suspicious. There were aliens everywhere, and apparently, there were a lot of people who had various super powers here. What if...This wasn't actually Richie? Eddie suddenly kneels close to Richie, squinting at him. He was really accurate looking, and definitely acting, but Eddie couldn't be too careful.)
Tell me something only Richie Tozier would know about me. Something- something serious.
[It's one of the hardest things that Eddie could ask of him. Does he mean stuff that even the other Losers don't know? Or just the people here? He's still puzzled by all of this, and doesn't really know what Eddie's line of thinking is apart from needing to prove he's really himself?
That's fair, because if neither of them are going crazy, how could they have been born so far apart, when that was never the case before?
Eddie says serious, so Richie adjusts his glasses and thinks of the most serious thing he can.]
(Eddie sits back then, relaxing into himself. There were very few people who knew about that, and absolutely no one here knew about it either. He feels a little foolish for assuming this was anything other than his best friend, having hugged him enough times now to recognize his smoky smell for what it was and who it belonged to.
The child simplicity works wonders at times, and this is no different. He doesn't think about how someone could read his mind and pluck that piece out. There's no over thinking it- especially not when Eddie doesn't want it to be true.)
...I don't know. It's weird, but maybe, maybe we're just from different times? We literally were pulled here so I guess maybe it's not that wild. I don't really get it though. You look and act exactly like I remember.
[Richie's face scrunches up at the suggestion. He can grasp the idea that they've been taken from where they were to here, because that definitely happened, but the timeline theory simply doesn't make sense to him.
It would explain a lot, maybe, like why Eddie's gotten confused by things Richie's referenced. But it's still difficult to comprehend and accept.]
How's that possible, though? That would mean-- [That would mean there's two of him, somehow? His thoughts drift to Neibolt house, and the missing persons flyer that caused him such panic. Technically, back in Derry he really is missing. But his thought process here isn't so much focusing on missing (he isn't missing that much, anyway, one of the people who'd notice he's gone the most is right here with him) as he is wondering whether he's real or fake.]
(It didn't make too much sense to Eddie either, but it's the only thing he's got. What else would explain it?)
There's a lot of things that seem impossible but aren't. (He says this with quiet thoughtfulness, and with a pointed look at Richie. The last thing he felt like talking about was It, but It had broken down a lot of walls in terms of what could or couldn't be. Eddie worries at his mouth, watching Richie intently. He might not be a mind-reader, but he knew his best friend better than anyone.)
What would that mean? (It's a real gentle push, just because maybe if Richie fessed up, Eddie could help in some way.
He moves close to Richie until his knees are digging lightly into Richie's thigh.)
I don't either. (He won't lie about that. It was confusing and it was scary as hell, but something about it also seemed to be bothering Richie more than it did Eddie, which meant Eddie's fear was locked up for the time being. His friend was a hell of a lot more important to Eddie than Eddie himself feeling fear for the fifteenth hundred time. He grabs Richie's hand, the hand that he'd grabbed when they had made their promise months ago (months ago for Eddie).)
I promise I'll be here. (It's ...a weak thing, a promise without blood, but Eddie hopes the message is translated all the same. That he promises he would stick around no matter what version of Richie this actually was. He couldn't make a promise like 'it'll be okay' because he has no idea if it'll be okay. Just like the Losers hadn't made a promise that it'll be okay. They did what they knew they could do. For this? Eddie could be here for Richie. A given, maybe, but fully worth solidifying.)
If you and I are from different times, that means they're two of me.
[It's easy to talk to Eddie, it always has been. But it doesn't change that the conversation is a heavy one. Eddie's hand in his is reassuring. Even if it's not a blood promise, Richie can still faintly feel where his hand was cut open not that long ago.]
But there can't be two of me, so one isn't real?
[It's a question only because of his uncertainty, and hoping that Eddie will tell him he's wrong. He'll believe it, only because it's easier.]
Well, yeah, probably. Just the way that that probably means there's two of me.
(Which was a lot to think about. He squeezes Richie's hand tighter, and wishes he was better at stuff like this. Bill would know the perfect thing to say. Hell, Sans would have this in the bag better than he did.
When it came to Richie, he just let himself talk naturally. It just wound up being the best thing, and he had to bank on that now. Even if he was a little freaked himself.)
What? No. You'd both be real, just maybe different from each other, but that doesn't mean either one of you is fake.
(Eddie says this with absolute conviction. He didn't want the Richie he had known for years of his life to be 'fake' and this one to be real, and similarly, he didn't want this Richie to be 'fake', even if he hadn't known him for years because well.)
You feel the same to me. The you I know from my time, and you-you.
[It's just what he needs to hear, really. Just having an affirmation that he is real, himself, and not somehow lesser to another version of himself that he will never encounter. Perhaps it's a bit dumb--this concern was only in regard to himself.
To him, Eddie is just Eddie. The technicalities don't matter.]
You're the same to me too. Maybe you're just missing a fanny pack but that's not a bad thing.
(And just like that, it really, really didn't matter about where they were or weren't from. They were still Eddie and Richie. Maybe a little different, but that was okay. He could feel the twin scars on their palms and that was enough.
Eddie hadn't been quite as worried about it, but he couldn't deny feeling glad that he also seemed the same.)
(For some reason, this description winds up making Eddie's ears go pink. It was on the very tip of his tongue to exclaim that boys don't wear purses, so why would he wear one? He looks stressed for a nanosecond, but then Richie is quick to confirm that no, boys wear them too.
His mouth is still twisted into an uncomfortable expression, but it gets more uncomfortable at the mention of medicine. His mouth tastes a little bit like paint thinner, and he suddenly feels hyper aware of the inhaler in his pocket.)
Oh, yeah. That would be convenient I guess.
(He's a little tense. That had been a different roller coaster of problems altogether, and he wasn't so sure how to approach that after they had already approached so much.)
[He's never thought that Eddie was super sick or anything, because he could do all the same stuff as the rest of them. But he knows Eddie takes a lot of medicine and he can't imagine that not being the case.]
(His voice trails off and he removes his hand from Richie's. Mostly because he was getting a bit of a cold sweat just thinking about it and Richie probably wouldn't appreciate that. He twists his hands together instead, face scrunched up.)
So I...am probably like, a little crazy, after all.
Umm. Well, you know when Bowers broke my arm? Well, uh, before that...I was at the pharmacy and Mr. Keene lead me into his back office. Behind the counter.
(The words felt tacky in his mouth, wrong somehow. Adults weren't usually leading kids off to be alone from the rest of the world unless it was for the sake of something bad. Eddie still couldn't wrap his mind around why Mr. Keene did what he had done that day.)
He um. Well, he told me that like. (What if Richie thought he was a total dumbass for ever believing this stuff?)
That ...I'm not sick, but my mind is sick, because I believe I'm- sick. And I'm not. I'm not...I don't need medicine. I...don't even have asthma.
[Honestly, it's a good thing that they've already had this discussion about different times--apparently things happened different ways, too. It's on the tip of his tongue to tell Eddie how he remembers things happening, but it can wait until Eddie's done explaining.
Richie adjusts his glasses and stares at Eddie with a vacant expression as he tries to grasp this.]
...Yeah? He chased me down and snapped it for throwing rocks at him.
(Not one of Eddie's favorite memories, truth be told. That entire day had taken its toll on Eddie in many, many ways. His hand skims over said arm, which still hurts some days.
It's embarrassing to talk about, Eddie realizes, and he quickly looks down at his feet.)
That's the crazy part, I guess. (He twists his shoe back and forth slowly to try and ease his jitters.)
My mom's been telling me I'm sick for so long it was just easy to believe her. Because why...would I think anything else, you know? So I guess I just...I don't know how it works. I'm trying to stop though.
What the fuck. [The phrase is murmured, and he shakes his head.] He must be even crazier back then.
[Which... if he is, it's only slightly. Even more troubling is Eddie's mom. Richie's known that she's always been... overbearing, to put it nicely, but this simply boggles his mind.]
She fucking wanted you to be sick? [If he sees her again he s2g he will let her have it.]
Bowers is completely batshit. That's why he's in Juniper now.
(The crazy son of a bitch killed Mike's poor dog, for Christ's sake. Among several other things that Eddie preferred to not think about if it could be helped.
Eddie's jaw works back and forth and he shrugs a little bit, feeling impossibly awkward.)
I don't...(He didn't understand it all that well himself. He winds up sitting down back next to Richie.)
It's hard to understand. (That's all he can really say. To this day, he still struggled with it. Most of the time, he felt grateful to be away from her, like he had won somehow. Other times though, he felt horrible for leaving his mother all alone. His father had left her on her own too. And she technically had only ever wanted to the best for Eddie. Had wanted him to have a good life, a healthy life, and sure she was overbearing, but no one could say that she didn't love her son.
Eddie was too young to understand how there was such a thing as bad love, loving too much, loving in the wrong way. "Love" was a good word, and mothers loved their children in ways children didn't always understand. How could something so positive have such a negative outcome?
And he loved his mom, was the thing, he loved her a whole lot. Just like he was frightened of her a whole lot. He wants to tell Richie all of this, tell him about how he understood why, but truthfully? He doesn't understand why. Because despite getting that she cared, he also felt like he'd been robbed of so much. He'd spent so many days laying in hospital beds, taking medicine that he never needed- and God, he worried nonstop about getting sick still. And for what?
His mindmother wails in his head, Eddie! You can't leave your mother. You don't know how sick the world is. You'll never make it!)
I don't think she wanted me to leave. And maybe, if she could keep me sick, and fragile, then I'd always think that leaving was dangerous.
Shit, he didn't die? I'm starting to think my time is better.
[It's not completely a fair statement to say. He really doesn't know anything about Eddie's time. His is just going to default be the best because it's the one he lived.
He watches Eddie as he tries to explain all of this and Richie... he doesn't get it. He's never grasped the concept of parents having a hands-on approach to child-rearing to begin with, because it's never something he experienced.]
That's fucked up.
[He's not sure what else he can say, other than acknowledge it for what it is.] What are you going to do about it?
(He's curious, because a timeline where Henry died sounded a little bit like heaven. Richie very well might be right. After all, Eddie's timeline left a lot more to be desired.
It's not a very satisfying answer, but the most important thing is that Richie seems to believe him. Eddie just gives a weak nod, followed by a partial shrug.)
I don't know. Hope there's a shrink somewhere on this station? I'm trying not to take my medicine anymore, but sometimes, when I get scared...It's really hard not to.
Yeah. Henry Bowers didn't break your arm. It happened the first time we went inside Neibolt. [He decides not to mention how Sonia reacted, or how he got into a fight with Bill over it, or how much the weeks following sucked.]
Henry tried to kill Mike, when we went back the last time. But he wound up cracking his head on the well and fell down to the bottom, so I'm pretty sure he's a goner.
[He doesn't know what other differences there might be, but those are the ones that have become obvious through their talking.]
I don't know, but don't let them hypnotize you. Weird stuff might happen. [It is totally a valid concern.] Think there's something you can do instead of taking your medicine, when you feel like you need to?
The Neibolt...Oh...(Well that makes Eddie go a little pale. He can still practically smell the leper.)
Shit, the werewolf? (Because that was different too, but Eddie doesn't know that. He just knows that that was what Richie had saw when Bill and him went exploring. But if Eddie wasn't there..maybe things were different overall.)
That's so weird.
(Maybe one day they would have to sit down to lay out the differences, but Eddie realized that it didn't really matter. Not when they were the same in the end.)
Richie. (He sighs, but doesn't argue that yeah, that is a valid concerned. He might as well have already been hypnotized by his own mom.
Eddie gives a bony shrug. Then he reaches over for that worn red scarf laying on the pillow and drags it over into his lap.)
Not be a baby for one thing, but that'll never happen probably. I have a friend here named Sans who gave me this. It's really special, so make sure you never lose it or rip it or anything- (He says this with a rare reverence, holding the scarf out for Richie to touch.)
But Sans was my first real friend here. He's- a skeleton, which is kind of weird, but mostly cool. And he's important. But he gave that to me to try and help me calm down. It helps sometimes. Just touching it, I mean, but otherwise I don't really know what to do when it feels like my lungs are closing up, you know? I don't know if it'll always work.
[So many things must be different, it's almost a miracle that they're still themselves. He could explain if Eddie really wanted, but it seems like there's more important things to focus on.
Like this scarf, which is really soft to the touch and--
Scratch that. That's not even the most important thing. Sorry, Eddie, he really did hear everything you just said and he'll get back to it in a moment, but--]
(Well there's another mental check mark for their list of growing differences.
The scarf is more important than Eddie could put words too. When he had been given it by Sans, and after he later figured out its real importance, Eddie wasn't so sure if he'd ever be able to do what Sans did. If he had something of Richie's or Bill's, he didn't know if he'd be able to give it to someone else to borrow.
It isn't at all a shocking reaction, though Eddie does lean back and roll his eyes.)
Oh my God, Richie, yes. There's like a bazillion weird people at this place. Sans is the coolest too. He's been like, my best bud since getting here. He's technically an adult, but he totally doesn't seem like one.
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thisavrou_ooc2017-11-17 07:40 pm
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It is not! And no! I wouldn't be bald! I have nice hair.
(But it does beg the question still of what the actual hell was happening. At least Eddie's got some sort of theory...
He looks around and gestures at the space they're in.)
Look at where we are. There's literally aliens everywhere. Maybe....Maybe we just. I don't know. Wait-
(Suddenly he grows suspicious. There were aliens everywhere, and apparently, there were a lot of people who had various super powers here. What if...This wasn't actually Richie? Eddie suddenly kneels close to Richie, squinting at him. He was really accurate looking, and definitely acting, but Eddie couldn't be too careful.)
Tell me something only Richie Tozier would know about me. Something- something serious.
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That's fair, because if neither of them are going crazy, how could they have been born so far apart, when that was never the case before?
Eddie says serious, so Richie adjusts his glasses and thinks of the most serious thing he can.]
Well. There's your dad.
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The child simplicity works wonders at times, and this is no different. He doesn't think about how someone could read his mind and pluck that piece out. There's no over thinking it- especially not when Eddie doesn't want it to be true.)
...I don't know. It's weird, but maybe, maybe we're just from different times? We literally were pulled here so I guess maybe it's not that wild. I don't really get it though. You look and act exactly like I remember.
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It would explain a lot, maybe, like why Eddie's gotten confused by things Richie's referenced. But it's still difficult to comprehend and accept.]
How's that possible, though? That would mean-- [That would mean there's two of him, somehow? His thoughts drift to Neibolt house, and the missing persons flyer that caused him such panic. Technically, back in Derry he really is missing. But his thought process here isn't so much focusing on missing (he isn't missing that much, anyway, one of the people who'd notice he's gone the most is right here with him) as he is wondering whether he's real or fake.]
I don't like this, Eds.
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There's a lot of things that seem impossible but aren't. (He says this with quiet thoughtfulness, and with a pointed look at Richie. The last thing he felt like talking about was It, but It had broken down a lot of walls in terms of what could or couldn't be. Eddie worries at his mouth, watching Richie intently. He might not be a mind-reader, but he knew his best friend better than anyone.)
What would that mean? (It's a real gentle push, just because maybe if Richie fessed up, Eddie could help in some way.
He moves close to Richie until his knees are digging lightly into Richie's thigh.)
I don't either. (He won't lie about that. It was confusing and it was scary as hell, but something about it also seemed to be bothering Richie more than it did Eddie, which meant Eddie's fear was locked up for the time being. His friend was a hell of a lot more important to Eddie than Eddie himself feeling fear for the fifteenth hundred time. He grabs Richie's hand, the hand that he'd grabbed when they had made their promise months ago (months ago for Eddie).)
I promise I'll be here. (It's ...a weak thing, a promise without blood, but Eddie hopes the message is translated all the same. That he promises he would stick around no matter what version of Richie this actually was. He couldn't make a promise like 'it'll be okay' because he has no idea if it'll be okay. Just like the Losers hadn't made a promise that it'll be okay. They did what they knew they could do. For this? Eddie could be here for Richie. A given, maybe, but fully worth solidifying.)
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[It's easy to talk to Eddie, it always has been. But it doesn't change that the conversation is a heavy one. Eddie's hand in his is reassuring. Even if it's not a blood promise, Richie can still faintly feel where his hand was cut open not that long ago.]
But there can't be two of me, so one isn't real?
[It's a question only because of his uncertainty, and hoping that Eddie will tell him he's wrong. He'll believe it, only because it's easier.]
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(Which was a lot to think about. He squeezes Richie's hand tighter, and wishes he was better at stuff like this. Bill would know the perfect thing to say. Hell, Sans would have this in the bag better than he did.
When it came to Richie, he just let himself talk naturally. It just wound up being the best thing, and he had to bank on that now. Even if he was a little freaked himself.)
What? No. You'd both be real, just maybe different from each other, but that doesn't mean either one of you is fake.
(Eddie says this with absolute conviction. He didn't want the Richie he had known for years of his life to be 'fake' and this one to be real, and similarly, he didn't want this Richie to be 'fake', even if he hadn't known him for years because well.)
You feel the same to me. The you I know from my time, and you-you.
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[It's just what he needs to hear, really. Just having an affirmation that he is real, himself, and not somehow lesser to another version of himself that he will never encounter. Perhaps it's a bit dumb--this concern was only in regard to himself.
To him, Eddie is just Eddie. The technicalities don't matter.]
You're the same to me too. Maybe you're just missing a fanny pack but that's not a bad thing.
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(And just like that, it really, really didn't matter about where they were or weren't from. They were still Eddie and Richie. Maybe a little different, but that was okay. He could feel the twin scars on their palms and that was enough.
Eddie hadn't been quite as worried about it, but he couldn't deny feeling glad that he also seemed the same.)
What the hell's a fanny pack?
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It's like a purse, but you snap it around your waste. But like, boys can wear it and stuff too.
[He feels the need to add that. It's important.]
You keep your medicine in there.
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His mouth is still twisted into an uncomfortable expression, but it gets more uncomfortable at the mention of medicine. His mouth tastes a little bit like paint thinner, and he suddenly feels hyper aware of the inhaler in his pocket.)
Oh, yeah. That would be convenient I guess.
(He's a little tense. That had been a different roller coaster of problems altogether, and he wasn't so sure how to approach that after they had already approached so much.)
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[He's never thought that Eddie was super sick or anything, because he could do all the same stuff as the rest of them. But he knows Eddie takes a lot of medicine and he can't imagine that not being the case.]
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(His voice trails off and he removes his hand from Richie's. Mostly because he was getting a bit of a cold sweat just thinking about it and Richie probably wouldn't appreciate that. He twists his hands together instead, face scrunched up.)
So I...am probably like, a little crazy, after all.
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[He can this is something that's bothering his friend, so after a moment he adds, more seriously.]
What is it?
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(The words felt tacky in his mouth, wrong somehow. Adults weren't usually leading kids off to be alone from the rest of the world unless it was for the sake of something bad. Eddie still couldn't wrap his mind around why Mr. Keene did what he had done that day.)
He um. Well, he told me that like. (What if Richie thought he was a total dumbass for ever believing this stuff?)
That ...I'm not sick, but my mind is sick, because I believe I'm- sick. And I'm not. I'm not...I don't need medicine. I...don't even have asthma.
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[Honestly, it's a good thing that they've already had this discussion about different times--apparently things happened different ways, too. It's on the tip of his tongue to tell Eddie how he remembers things happening, but it can wait until Eddie's done explaining.
Richie adjusts his glasses and stares at Eddie with a vacant expression as he tries to grasp this.]
Then why are you taking medicine?
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(Not one of Eddie's favorite memories, truth be told. That entire day had taken its toll on Eddie in many, many ways. His hand skims over said arm, which still hurts some days.
It's embarrassing to talk about, Eddie realizes, and he quickly looks down at his feet.)
That's the crazy part, I guess. (He twists his shoe back and forth slowly to try and ease his jitters.)
My mom's been telling me I'm sick for so long it was just easy to believe her. Because why...would I think anything else, you know? So I guess I just...I don't know how it works. I'm trying to stop though.
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[Which... if he is, it's only slightly. Even more troubling is Eddie's mom. Richie's known that she's always been... overbearing, to put it nicely, but this simply boggles his mind.]
She fucking wanted you to be sick? [If he sees her again he s2g he will let her have it.]
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(The crazy son of a bitch killed Mike's poor dog, for Christ's sake. Among several other things that Eddie preferred to not think about if it could be helped.
Eddie's jaw works back and forth and he shrugs a little bit, feeling impossibly awkward.)
I don't...(He didn't understand it all that well himself. He winds up sitting down back next to Richie.)
It's hard to understand. (That's all he can really say. To this day, he still struggled with it. Most of the time, he felt grateful to be away from her, like he had won somehow. Other times though, he felt horrible for leaving his mother all alone. His father had left her on her own too. And she technically had only ever wanted to the best for Eddie. Had wanted him to have a good life, a healthy life, and sure she was overbearing, but no one could say that she didn't love her son.
Eddie was too young to understand how there was such a thing as bad love, loving too much, loving in the wrong way. "Love" was a good word, and mothers loved their children in ways children didn't always understand. How could something so positive have such a negative outcome?
And he loved his mom, was the thing, he loved her a whole lot. Just like he was frightened of her a whole lot. He wants to tell Richie all of this, tell him about how he understood why, but truthfully? He doesn't understand why. Because despite getting that she cared, he also felt like he'd been robbed of so much. He'd spent so many days laying in hospital beds, taking medicine that he never needed- and God, he worried nonstop about getting sick still. And for what?
His mindmother wails in his head, Eddie! You can't leave your mother. You don't know how sick the world is. You'll never make it!)
I don't think she wanted me to leave. And maybe, if she could keep me sick, and fragile, then I'd always think that leaving was dangerous.
(Which...he still kind of did.)
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[It's not completely a fair statement to say. He really doesn't know anything about Eddie's time. His is just going to default be the best because it's the one he lived.
He watches Eddie as he tries to explain all of this and Richie... he doesn't get it. He's never grasped the concept of parents having a hands-on approach to child-rearing to begin with, because it's never something he experienced.]
That's fucked up.
[He's not sure what else he can say, other than acknowledge it for what it is.] What are you going to do about it?
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(He's curious, because a timeline where Henry died sounded a little bit like heaven. Richie very well might be right. After all, Eddie's timeline left a lot more to be desired.
It's not a very satisfying answer, but the most important thing is that Richie seems to believe him. Eddie just gives a weak nod, followed by a partial shrug.)
I don't know. Hope there's a shrink somewhere on this station? I'm trying not to take my medicine anymore, but sometimes, when I get scared...It's really hard not to.
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Henry tried to kill Mike, when we went back the last time. But he wound up cracking his head on the well and fell down to the bottom, so I'm pretty sure he's a goner.
[He doesn't know what other differences there might be, but those are the ones that have become obvious through their talking.]
I don't know, but don't let them hypnotize you. Weird stuff might happen. [It is totally a valid concern.] Think there's something you can do instead of taking your medicine, when you feel like you need to?
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Shit, the werewolf? (Because that was different too, but Eddie doesn't know that. He just knows that that was what Richie had saw when Bill and him went exploring. But if Eddie wasn't there..maybe things were different overall.)
That's so weird.
(Maybe one day they would have to sit down to lay out the differences, but Eddie realized that it didn't really matter. Not when they were the same in the end.)
Richie. (He sighs, but doesn't argue that yeah, that is a valid concerned. He might as well have already been hypnotized by his own mom.
Eddie gives a bony shrug. Then he reaches over for that worn red scarf laying on the pillow and drags it over into his lap.)
Not be a baby for one thing, but that'll never happen probably. I have a friend here named Sans who gave me this. It's really special, so make sure you never lose it or rip it or anything- (He says this with a rare reverence, holding the scarf out for Richie to touch.)
But Sans was my first real friend here. He's- a skeleton, which is kind of weird, but mostly cool. And he's important. But he gave that to me to try and help me calm down. It helps sometimes. Just touching it, I mean, but otherwise I don't really know what to do when it feels like my lungs are closing up, you know? I don't know if it'll always work.
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[So many things must be different, it's almost a miracle that they're still themselves. He could explain if Eddie really wanted, but it seems like there's more important things to focus on.
Like this scarf, which is really soft to the touch and--
Scratch that. That's not even the most important thing. Sorry, Eddie, he really did hear everything you just said and he'll get back to it in a moment, but--]
YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH A SKELETON?!
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The scarf is more important than Eddie could put words too. When he had been given it by Sans, and after he later figured out its real importance, Eddie wasn't so sure if he'd ever be able to do what Sans did. If he had something of Richie's or Bill's, he didn't know if he'd be able to give it to someone else to borrow.
It isn't at all a shocking reaction, though Eddie does lean back and roll his eyes.)
Oh my God, Richie, yes. There's like a bazillion weird people at this place. Sans is the coolest too. He's been like, my best bud since getting here. He's technically an adult, but he totally doesn't seem like one.
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