squadgoals: (that makes a stupid kind of sense)
ʟᴄᴅʀ Jane "ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵍᵒ" Shepard ([personal profile] squadgoals) wrote in [community profile] thisavrou_ooc 2016-06-17 01:25 pm (UTC)

BATTLE PLAN!!!

Alright so. Shep knows what happened from writeups and talks, and they're not exactly attacking without reason. With that in mind, she'd definitely want to go no kill. If negotiations don't work, best thing to do? Keep batting them back until they're willing to sit down again. While minimizing damage to the C-prime folks is a priority, crewmembers should absolutely come first. If it's between breaking a C-prime leg and saving another offense team member, it's going to be an easy choice.

With that under advisement, I present to you: Battle Plan Alpha! Thus called because it's super subject to change and we can just go through all the greek letters okok. It focuses on scaring them, subduing them, and if all else fails, detaining them. Terror, knock down, knock out. Additionally, since they seem to have some sort of future-viewing-power, the team's attacks have got to be unpredictable — think about tackling them, but actually pull out some judo, or just flip over them and push them down. Whatever you've got in terms of crazy powers, use them! As long as they don't cut, stab, or otherwise rend/penetrate flesh, including instakills, it's all good!

STEP 1 — SCARE:
First, we try and scare the shit out of them. Got illusion magic? Create something horrifying. Got fire/ice/lightening/gravity/dog powers? Create a tornado of puppies, a mighty lightening bolt at their feet. Got facepaint, or make-up? Create a terrifying visage — TEAM SCARY MONSTER SKELETONS GO. Got an 80s disco dance track? Pump up the bass. You get the idea. Wear crazy clothes, costumes, anything to really freak them out. They met us before, so they know what we're supposed to look like. This might throw them for a loop, even if they see us putting on the outfits with futurevision. Get them outta dodge!

STEP 2 — SUBDUE:
So some of them didn't stop when they saw Charlie literally breathing fire or actual skeletons walking around. Fine. Next, we knock them down! We told you we were hardcore, why didn't they listen? This step is all about holding them in place without chance of advancement on our squad. Got a sick judo move? Break it out. Can you trap them in place with gravity or psychic power, or stick their feet to the ground with varietal magicks? Hit that up. What if you just buried them in hams? Who knows, I won't judge. This step could use a quick lesson in hand to hand combat — never has knowing how to flip a dude twice your side been so handy dandy.

STEP 3 — DETAIN:
Finally, the knockout punch — we're looking for disabling them into unconsciousness, but WITHOUT DEATH. Looking at you, Pushing them back is fine, but with this step, we're looking for your "the pokemon fainted!" moves, rather than just a harsh wind. Pistol whip, CQC, psychic blast, rain of rocks, school of hard knocks... whatever it takes to get them down without death. Do they have delicate zones? Maybe shoot a beanbag at a delicate zone. Or a fist. Gas grenades with knockout gas? Let's make a few. No matter what, get them on the ground, blacked out, and bind them with rope if it looks like they're going to come to. The less the defense team has to worry about dudes sneakin' in, the better.


Above all else, WATCH EACH OTHER'S BACKS! This isn't a game — if everyone's wiped out, who resurges? But it won't come to that, because we're the best, baddest, bossest, coolest, and also NICEST CREW THERE IS. We screwed up with the planet, but that's something to be covered at the negotiations table, not here. Here, we keep in formation, maintain cool heads, and support each other every step of the way. And also nobody dies and nobody gets killed if at all possible okok.

In the eternal words of Ms. Frizzle, "Take chances, make mistakes, DO NOT KILL ANYONE"

OFFENSE TEAM DO THE THING YEAH!!!

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