Cúrre (
hownkai) wrote in
thisavrou_ooc2016-07-08 05:07 pm
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Entry tags:
( tdm 12 )
T E S T D R I V E |
"Don’t know when I’ll be back again."
|
T E S T D R I V E |
"Don’t know when I’ll be back again."
|
[Armin is crying by the time he gets out of the pool. Fat, useless tears dribbling down his cheeks. His hands are shaking as he goes through the motions of drying himself off. He crouches with the towel around his shoulders, rocking back and forth on his heels. He sniffles a little, still sad as his long hair is still damp and dripping down his neck. When someone enters with the clear intent to go swimming, he calls over to them:]
Wait-- don't dive in, there's something wrong with the water!
[For once Armin's almost-supernatural intuition is failing him. He's uncertain if those feelings have been brought about somehow by the light of the asteroid, or if he's simply that unhappy. Most of the time he can push the blackness back in his mind, but now it seems stuck to him, clinging like stray water droplets he can't entirely shake free.]
I'm sorry, I know this is a strange thing to ask - but I think we should both try sticking our hand in the water at the same time, slowly. I think it's having some kind of... mood-altering affect. If we both test it at once, we'll know for sure.
[Armin knows he sounds and looks feeble, blotchy and bleary from crying, damp and small and young.]
Please.
[Armin has never liked walls. Everyone says that walls contain, that they keep everyone safe, but it's difficult not to see them as anything but a form as imprisonment. This morning he could have sworn the ceiling was an inch away from his nose. He pushed back against it in a panic, but his hands touched nothing. He hasn't felt right ever since.
On a logical level, he understands the need for walls in an air tight environment. From what he's read about space, it makes sense.
But he hates them. And it's only getting worse.
There's someone watching him. Armin can't be sure why, or what it wants, but he's deeply uneasy. Sometimes he thinks he feels something like a claw brushing his shoulder, a whisper in his ear - his fears and memories brought to life. He's a shuddering mess, dark circles under his eyes, as he sets his tray down on a table with a clang.]
Excuse me. [There's someone here. It feels like there's never anyone anywhere, lately.] Didn't meant for that to be so loud. Um. Weird question. How many times have people tried to escape here?
[It's been a long time since Armin has fired a weapon. The ones at this gallery are far more advanced than what he's used to. It takes him a round or two to get past the difference in size and shape, the kickback is different, the sound of it. The entire experience is surreal. The smell of it is different. He never liked the smell of gunpowder, yet he finds himself missing it.
They're out in the middle of nowhere, and Armin has precious few he can trust. There's really no telling what they might run into out here. The presence of the armory and shooting range, the weapon system of the space ship all point to that. No matter his negative emotions toward handling weapons - toward being willing to kill so easily - he knows it is necessary. There's no point in fighting it anymore. He's fallen in every sense of the word.
Captain Levi said his hands are dirty now. It's truer now more than ever.
By the time his session is coming to an end, he's hitting his marks or quite close each time. He pauses a moment when someone else enters, instinctively wary of the newcomer.] ...Hi. [He says with a curt nod, not taking off his safety gear. It occurs to him some might have a problem with a 16-year-old firing off weapons, but too late now.]
[There is so much out there it feels suffocating. Armin has been standing watching the the stars for what feels like hours. He feels small at the best of times, right now the slender teenager feels microscopic. How could he have imagined he would somehow turn up in a place even further from the world he knew, even less tenuously connected to anything familiar? His chest hurts with the effort of trying to calm his breathing. He's clenching his jaw - isn't sure he can unclench it.
There is a void in his heart in the place where things like tears and panic usually flow from. Armin is dried up. 16 and cynical. He never thought he could miss being a weakling crybaby. But this hurts worse, in a way, being so frozen he cannot react.
As if reading his mood, the orange striped kitten in his arms lets out a mew, demanding his attention. Armin tears his gaze away from the starscape, scratching behind the kitten's ears.]
There, there Liza. I think I saw some new playmates for you darting around.
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