( tdm 12 )

[hownkai]

T E S T D R I V E

leavin’ on a jet plane "Don’t know when I’ll be back again." ABOARD THE MOIRA The Ingress has pulled you in. Your body experiences several sensations at once: being pushed forward as if a hand is resting on your back, momentary and startling blindness, a gentle ringing in your head. You have difficulty discerning whether it is hot or cold, but where you have been prodded is noticeably warmer than the rest of you. Some may suffer from dizziness while others are perfectly fine. Once equilibrium has been reestablished, you will notice you are standing on a long platform and that the room is filled with a soft cerulean light. It's slightly humid and dark despite the glow around you, and nothing is familiar. Shortly after, you are led out and toward the medbay. Inside this room, you are given a physical scan and offered a contract to sign that states you are now part of the crew of the Moira with a specific job. Any questions you might have would be answered in a straightforward manner as well as an explanation about how the Ingress, the thing that has pulled you onto the Moira, is broken and bringing people here unintentionally. This process also consists of a complete work-up of medical history and current health, and afterwards, you are given your MID, a device that is integrated into your hand or wrist with only the slightest pinch. From there, you are guided out of the medbay and to your living quarters. Whether adjusting to space travel has been difficult or not, there is always something to be done. From working to leisure, the Moira offers a multitude of opportunities to get to know your crewmates a bit better. Exploration of the ship is highly encouraged. You may notice a slight change in the artificial gravity every once in awhile; however, more noticeable changes can be found in overall morale of those of the crew. ☄ on your own There are plenty of other communal areas on the ship to explore! Pick a place, and see where it takes you. ( These scenarios can be used as in-game canon. ) The day begins normally. Or almost. The Moira has accidentally fallen along the trajectory of an asteroid barreling its way through space. While most things like this are not uncommon, and the ship is far from any potential danger of collision or risk of debris damaging the exterior, there is something particularly odd about this specific occurrence. The rock itself appears to give off a strange light that is both eerie and alive. Often, if looked at in just the right manner, it will shift colors; so, while one person sees one side of the spectrum, someone else could see something entirely different. At first, things continue on as they usually do aside from the glowing asteroid alongside the Moira, but as the hours go on, that does not seem to be the case. ☄ the hours are breathing resignedly beneath the sky the melancholy waters lie With a rather open view of stars and space, thanks to the skylight above, the pool in the rec area suddenly comes alive beneath the light of the asteroid filtering in. Perhaps it’s some natural response to the chemical composition of the water, or perhaps it’s magic. Yet, regardless of the explanation, those who happen to take a dip suddenly find themselves plagued by despair. The depression and melancholy are not subtle changes either; it slams into you with great force, like a punch to the gut. The longer you remain in the pool, the deeper it grows, like an all-consuming paranoia that settles into the back of your mind and causes your heart to grow heavy. These strong feelings will eventually fade if you choose to leave the pool and dry off, but as long as you remain damp from the pool, those emotions will continue to linger. Even after you’re completely dry, there will be no mistaking just how intensely you felt or why. There is no explanation and might not be. Would you dare a second swim to test whether or not it was a fluke? ( These scenarios can be used as in-game canon. ) ☄ those who have crossed the eyes are not here, there are no eyes here The walls are shrinking in. Every room you step into feels much too small, like there isn’t enough room to even breathe. A crowded place becomes startlingly empty, and no matter how much you run, how much you explore, there is no one there to comfort you or answer your calls for help. Hallucinations run strong between the lulls of obscene loneliness or claustrophobia, and exposure to the glow of the asteroid is really the only thing to thank for that. You’re desperate to claw your way out of the ship—open the emergency hatch in the Cargo Bay, bust the glass of the Observation Deck. What’s worse is that it’s not just you. It’s catching, and the fear of being next is very real. It feels like you’re being watched, that everyone around you is looking and seeing everything you are. Or are not. The only way to make it stop is to admit that you’re afraid of being seen, but who, in the deep madness of the self, has the courage to ever admit the truth? ( These scenarios can be used as in-game canon. ) ☄ the sun in flight rage, rage against the dying of the light Something has drifted its way onto the Moira from the outside. Unlike the faint luminosity they give off, they suck up all the light around them, making them the only source to see by. From far away, they are just flitting balls of light, but if you get close enough to inspect them, they are mean. And have sharp, sharp teeth. Go poking, and they will bite you before trying to fly away while taking that only light source with them. The option to avoid them is quite easy if you’re not the curious sort, but without them around, it will be impossibly dark. As the asteroid moves on in the opposite direction of the Moira, these light creatures begin to dissolve and fade away with it. However, a word of caution: their bites glow. If you don’t manage to find the one that bit you and capture it between your hands, the bite will become a permanent glowing fixture of your body. ( These scenarios can be used as in-game canon. ) OUT OF CHARACTER INFO FAQ | LOCATIONS | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS | NAVIGATION For mature or graphic content, please label. For questions, please direct them to the FAQ. As always, be kind and have fun!

Comments

[beside_myself]

He fishes for something to say. He'd never been good at comforting her, especially not in a situation like this. Eventually, all he's able to pull up is a nod and an "Okay."

A beat, then, "Okay, yeah. We can - we can drop it. No big deal, Tex." He crosses his arms and shifts on his feet, feeling uncomfortable. Awkward. There's baggage between them, and half of it he doesn't even remember. It makes this about ten times more fucked up than it should be; he should push this. Get her to tell him what the fuck went on between them. But he won't.

[a_shadow]

"No big deal," she says, mocking just a bit. Because it is. She looks to the side, then eyes him again. She'd thought about their reunion a lot since she'd made the choice to stick around and wait to see if he showed back up. Sometimes that's all she thought about. The first time he'd been here, she'd withheld a proper connection with him, using him for sex and then pushing him away. She knew how he felt about her, she always had, yet...she'd held back so much. And she's on a path to do things the same way now. It's not right to let things happen the same way. Yet can't she fight against this later? Sort things out later?

No—

There are other people in the mess hall, enjoying their breakfasts, and really, their presence has been the main thing holding her back. So it's a sudden movement on her part when she decides to quit worrying about that and reach to cup the back of his head in her hands. She presses into the kiss too hard, too messily, too...well, too eagerly. She's not worried about mistaken identities. This is Church, she knows it is. And the fact that he doesn't understand why this kiss is so important angers her. And she takes it out on him in the press of her lips.

[beside_myself]

He feels himself practically short circuit when she pulls him in and kisses him. It takes him a moment — what feels like hours — to react, and even then, it's just to put his hands over her waist, his lips barely moving against hers. He's too stunned, too upset, too confused to really take this in, to really fucking appreciate the feeling of Tex kissing him again. He feels, somehow, that this wasn't meant for him, but...

But he doesn't protest, and he doesn't pull away. He'll let her have this.

[a_shadow]

His reaction isn't in keeping with her fervor and she loses steam quickly. Goddamn it, it's just not fair. She pauses, eyes still closed, and breaks the kiss to tilt her head away. "I had to," she mutters. And that's the most vulnerable he's going to see her—today, or for quite a while. Because she drops her hands from his head and steps back and—well, that's it, that's all. She grabs the trays and moves to leave.

[beside_myself]

Church doesn't hesitate this time, and with the same sort of ... almost reckless abandon, he grabs Tex's wrist to stop her (those trays be damned) and drags her back into a kiss, pressing into it with vehemence. He's not going to fuck this up because he can't think on his feet. She needs this from him, and god damn it, he wants this from her just as much.

[a_shadow]

It's awkward now with the trays in play, but she holds them out and drops them back on the table. She doesn't know what caused him to change his attitude toward the thing, but it doesn't matter. Her hands scrabble into his shirt at his back and she kisses him hard, meeting the probing of his lips with similar motions. It's probably quite a display for the other people in the mess over breakfast, but Tex really doesn't care. Maybe something...jump-started his memory, helped him remember what had happened before his disappearance. Or maybe it just doesn't matter whether he remembers or not. Maybe this is just a promise she needs to make to him through her actions, that she's not going to put that distance between them this time.

Eventually Tex comes to herself, realizes she's gone short of breath, and she pulls back enough to break the kiss and press her face against his cheek. She's sort of panting in his ear now, but she doesn't care. "Leonard..." She swallows and pulls back a little more. "I'm not going to work right now." She can switch shifts with Nate or something. It's flexible enough—this is more important right now.

[beside_myself]

They're on two different wavelengths, and he knows this. Knows that he's stepping into dangerous, dangerous fucking territory. He doesn't remember anything; he feels like he's intruding on something he shouldn't; he knows Tex is ... projecting. But he's always been bad at keeping away from her.

When she pulls away, he has to smile. Just a soft, toothy grin. "I'd ... kinda hope not," he says, his voice barely there and just a bit rough. He doesn't even care about his own work schedule. It's not even a thought in his mind, at this point.

[a_shadow]

She pulls back the rest of the way and puts her hand to her MID to open a text and send a message to Nate, to let him know she intends to switch shifts with him that day. That accomplished, she turns her attention to cleaning up their mess—dropping the tray had spattered some food onto the table. She dabs it up with Church's unused napkin and grabs the trays. "Come on," she says.

She's not quite sure where she's headed. It occurs to her that if they go to the privacy of her room, they're not going to be able to keep their hands off of each other, or at least, there will be more opportunity to be physical rather than vulnerable. And that doesn't seem like a good idea right now. But if she takes him to somewhere public to talk, like the gardens, she'll be too inhibited by the presence of other people to share much. She won't share anything, really. And that doesn't work either.

Her room it is, then. She doesn't take his hand after dropping off the trays, just walks ahead of him, leading the way as she had on the way to the mess hall. After a bit she slows enough for him to catch up. "Going to my room," she explains finally. "I only have one roommate and he ought to be working."

She walks by his side until they reach her room, and she opens the door, leading the way in. One of the sets of sheets she had bought during the ship's visit to the resorts of the Collective are on the bed, and she reaches to tidy the corners of the cover toward the pillow. "We can sit here and talk." The room has chairs, but the desks are all far apart, between the beds, and she would rather snuggle up here then drag chairs all over the room.

[beside_myself]

Church is, surprisingly, quiet through everything. He helps her clean up the trays and he follows her like a puppy on a leash through the Moira. He's thinking — a dangerous activity for him — and can feel the bubble of anxiety start up in his chest. Well. Anxiety and a whole lot of other shit he'd rather not put a name to.

He nods when she tells him they're going to her room, and nods again when she offers for them to sit. He finally cracks a smile at the sheets, and suddenly he's laughing. They're just so... Tex. They're perfectly her and he has no idea how she got them and he can't stop laughing. Admittedly, most of it is stress build up finally getting let out, but at least it's a positive way to release that? Right? He manages to get out a "Sorry," and he covers his mouth with his hand, but help him, he can't stop.

[a_shadow]

Her eyes flash, not exactly angry but feeling a bit annoyed by his reaction. She crosses her arms. "What?" she asks.

[beside_myself]

He gets himself to stop laughing after another minute, and he gives her an apologetic look and a smile. "Sorry, Tex," he says after another beat. "Those sheets are ... they're sure fuckin' something."

[a_shadow]

"They're mine," she says, implication clear—insult my taste, insult me. She sits on the bed and scoots back. "Come on, Church."

[beside_myself]

Church rolls his eyes and waves her off. "I'm kidding. I like them. They uh - they suit you." Don't fuck this up now.

[a_shadow]

"I would hope so," she says. "Now sit down." She's looking at him, examining his face. She's been ignoring the tension in her mind about his new body, because that does give her a touch of doubt as to whether it's really him, but as soon as he's seated she turns and reaches for his cheek and thumbs at his cheekbone, at his eyelid, at the corner of his lip. She's not making a mistake, is she? Isn't this really Church? Even though he looks nothing like the Director, and nothing like he did before? She knows it's easy enough for him to be installed in another body.

"You really don't remember?" is what she ends up asking. Because the interesting thing about all this is he got off on a much better foot with her this time around. She'd smack him if she found out he was using 'forgetting' the previous visit to the Moira to his advantage. But in a way, she'd also be relieved. No need to explain his memory gap, no need to catch him up on the events he's forgotten. No need to explain her fervency in grabbing him and kissing him earlier. Well...not as much need, anyway.

[beside_myself]

Church is quiet for a minute, letting Tex touch his face — seriously, what does he look like? — and explore his features to her heart's content. It feels ... kind of nice.

And when she asks if he remembers anything, he shakes his head. "Nope. I Really don't." He frowns a little, but the expression's quick to fall off his face. "I don't know how this shit works, but ... I guess my memories got wiped or. Something. I d'unno, Tex." He sighs, shrugs, huffs a little. "Unless you got a memory beam ... re-instater ... thing ... we're kind of shit outta luck in the whole memory department."

[a_shadow]

She lowers her hand from his face to his side. "I don't know either. I don't know if it's being done on purpose or not." If it is, it's awfully cruel. She hates not knowing.

So, okay, this means she needs to talk about what happened when he was here before. She shifts, folding her knees up under herself, so that she's facing him a little better and sitting cross-legged. She pauses.

...Fuck. She doesn't know where to start. She's never been the best story-teller. She just drops in the biggest pieces of the puzzle and leaves the little details behind. That's just her way. So when she thinks about what she ought to tell him, it's the high points that gain her attention.

"The first time we fucked we were both stoned and I was drunk," is what she decides to lead with. "We were both really chill with each other, but...I don't think it really meant anything." It didn't to her, not really. She shakes her head a little. "We...didn't really connect until later. I think we were both avoiding it." Or, that's what she tells herself, that the avoidance was coming from both sides. He'd left that night willingly enough, anyway, when she'd sent him away. She still has her hand resting on his side and she grasps at him a little with her fingertips. "We hung out around the ship but that's all we did after that, for a while. But it was, you know, nice. We were getting to know each other again." She pauses, and smiles slightly at another memory that comes to mind. "Though you did get me a lame Valentine's present. Library books and candy." She pokes him in the side with her fingers. "And I know it was you."

[beside_myself]

Church listens to her, knowing that she's talking about him, but feeling like it's a different person. He doesn't rememebr this - not even a little. There's nothing.

"Well uh. I'm glad past me wasn't a total fuck up," he offers. "Y'know, with the ... gift. It uhm. Sounds pretty cute." He doesn't know what to say.

He wishes he could just remember. Or that Tex would quit comparing him (at least it seems that way) to his past self.

[a_shadow]

She's amused by his reaction to that, and her smile deepens a bit. "You sure didn't want to take credit at the time," she says. "'Secret admirer.' Right." Church would always be the one who admired her most, and she enjoyed that fact (most of the time).

But she can tell his reaction to her amusement is tempered by something, some thought he's having, and her smile fades. She flattens her hand where it rests at his waist, to hold on to him better.

"Does this bother you?" she asks. She hadn't really intended to just blurt out these events, but she also hadn't known what to do with the fact that he didn't remember them, and even though sharing emotional things wasn't her forte, it had seemed to be the thing he would need. But perhaps that idea had been misguided.

[beside_myself]

He weighs his options on telling her. It's apparently honesty hour, and she is being surprisingly open about her feelings. Which is ... Weird. He should tell her that yes, this does bother him. But he doesn't want to dampen this.

He gives her a small smile and shakes his head. "No. It's just weird to hear. That I was here before and I don't remember shit."

let me know if this is okay!

[a_shadow]

She knows, though. It's there in his tone, despite the pasted-on smile. "Church," she sighs. "Don't try to lie to me." He'd always been a terrible, terrible liar—even worse than her old friend York. It bothers him to hear, and she should have known it would. She always hides bad memories from him, anyway, and there are bad things coming if she continues down this line. It's better just to...stop, just stop, or gloss over it somehow.

And with that, it's determined in her mind. She's not going to tell him about her death. He can find out about the impermanence of death here in some other way. He'll never really have real context for that desperate kiss she'd attacked him with in the mess hall, but he probably doesn't need it. It's not like her telling him he said he loved her would make him realize he does. Those aren't words they ever bandied about very freely, but...well, she thinks it's probably true of him, even now.

So the emotional is out. Which leaves the physical. Which is her domain anyway. She shifts again, onto her knees, leveraging herself by tugging at his waist with the hand that's been holding on to him, and swings one leg over to straddle his lap. This feels better. Forget reminiscing. Forget the version of Church that wore Adrien's face. This man is gorgeous. And she has him now. She settles onto him, pressing her chest to his.

pre smut maybe??

[beside_myself]

Church is halfway to protesting that no, he's not lying, it's fine, but then she's straddling him, and he chokes on his words. He curls his fingers in the sheets, his eyes widening when Tex moves to press against him.

"Uhh--" He tries to start, then swallows, his hands moving again to grab her hips. "Tex?"

He knows exactly what she's doing. She's never been good at talking - likes to let her body do that. And he feels like they should talk, but she's taken the words right out of him. ... There's always time to talk later.

NSFW content from this point on

[a_shadow]

That doesn't sound like a protest. Just a request for reassurance. She smirks. This is where she feels confident. It makes her feel powerful, seeing him stare at her wide-eyed in wonder by taking such a simple action. She rolls her hips down against his. She'd earlier had a thought about how coming on to him physically before talking things out would be doing things completely backwards, but now that this moment has arrived she sees this is better. Much better. It suits them better.

She tilts her head and dips it to where she can nip at his jaw line, reaching down to grab one of his hands and place it on her chest. And she rolls her hips again; slower this time, more insistently. She's excited—not that there hasn't been a low buzz of it in the background ever since she kissed him earlier, but it's more present now. She lets out a low, hissing exhale and nips again.

NSFW

[beside_myself]

Church tilts his head and lets her move his hand, feeling almost like a puppet on strings for her. "Tex--" he tries to start again, his breath hitching when she bites at his skin. "Tex, I thought we were talking."

He doesn't ... necessarily want to stop, but he feels like they should. He's still not even sure if she is really taking him as a different person. Sort of. However the fuck that worked.

[a_shadow]

Okay, well, now he's protesting. Something she could ignore, except for the limp way he's touching her. She pauses, breathing against his jaw. She slowly presses a kiss to his skin, then sits up. She needs to see the look on his face. This new face.

[beside_myself]

Church looks back at her, hesitant and a little unsure - not an expression he normally wears. He leans in to kiss her, just a soft brushing of their lips, and when he pulls away, he sighs.

"You sure you wanna start like this?" He asks, needing to make sure. She said that last time, they fucked and then stayed apart. He doesn't want that. That's the last damn thing he wants. "I'm not -- okay, I was gonna say 'I'm not him' but that's not really. Uh. Accurate. Just - fuck. You know what I mean, right?"