Thán (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hohnkai) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou_ooc2016-11-09 11:52 am
hohnkai) wrote in thisavrou_ooc2016-11-09 11:52 am
Entry tags:
1. I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2. I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
3. The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
4. [text him!]
2. I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
3. The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
4. [text him!]
DARLING THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS HERE.
WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO? SHOOT THE DOG?
HOW MANY GUNS DO YOU HAVE THAT YOU CAN JUST GET THE GUN WHEN THE DOG SNEEZES?
DID YOU CONSIDER THAT MAYBE THE DOG APPRECIATES YOU FOR SAYING BLESS YOU? :)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW CUTE THAT WAS?
ETC.
WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO? SHOOT THE DOG?
HOW MANY GUNS DO YOU HAVE THAT YOU CAN JUST GET THE GUN WHEN THE DOG SNEEZES?
DID YOU CONSIDER THAT MAYBE THE DOG APPRECIATES YOU FOR SAYING BLESS YOU? :)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW CUTE THAT WAS?
ETC.
1. ACCIDENTALLY MADE A STRAIGHT GUY QUESTION HIS SEXUALITY AGAIN. I REALLY GOTTA WATCH MYSELF.
2. I ONCE TOOK A SHOT OF LIGHTER FLUID.. THAT'S NOT A SECRET JUST A FUCKED UP STORY
3. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
4. THIS IS EITHER THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD OR THE WORST. STAY TUNED.
5. [Text him]
2. I ONCE TOOK A SHOT OF LIGHTER FLUID.. THAT'S NOT A SECRET JUST A FUCKED UP STORY
3. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
4. THIS IS EITHER THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD OR THE WORST. STAY TUNED.
5. [Text him]
1. I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
2. Was it your intent last night to set a fire on the ship? With a waffle..
3. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
4. What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
2. Was it your intent last night to set a fire on the ship? With a waffle..
3. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
4. What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
1. you're here to start shit and i'm here to light that shit on fire
2. i don't remember what you did, but i DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it
3. ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
4. fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
5. somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying.
5. [text him!]
2. i don't remember what you did, but i DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it
3. ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
4. fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
5. somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying.
5. [text him!]
1. Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a habanero pepper.
2. About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
3. his penis is PERFECT. I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm. or knit it little hat
4. The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
5. Text her!
2. About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
3. his penis is PERFECT. I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm. or knit it little hat
4. The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
5. Text her!
Edited 2016-11-09 19:21 (UTC)
1. Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
2. It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
3. I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
4. Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
5. I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
6. TEXT HER
2. It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
3. I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
4. Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
5. I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
6. TEXT HER
1. I just want an early 40-something who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
2. Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
3. You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
4. Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
5. What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
6. [Text him!]
2. Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
3. You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
4. Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
5. What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
6. [Text him!]
Edited 2016-11-09 20:51 (UTC)
Are you asking for help or just keeping me appraised of the situation?
1. I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
2. Just tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
3. I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
4. There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
2. Just tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
3. I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
4. There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Edited 2016-11-09 21:19 (UTC)
1.Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
2.IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
3.I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
2.IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
3.I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
1.He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
2.My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
3.I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
2.My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
3.I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
1. I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
2. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
3. yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
4. extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
5. Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
6. OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
7. Text her
2. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
3. yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
4. extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
5. Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
6. OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
7. Text her
i'm impressed by anyone capable of sleeping in that state
well done i salute your commitment to napping
well done i salute your commitment to napping
1. Self care is breaking into the cargo bay and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
2. MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
3. someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
2. MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
3. someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Edited 2016-11-09 21:30 (UTC)
1. Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
2. What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
3. I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
4. "Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
5. [Text him!]
2. What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
3. I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
4. "Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
5. [Text him!]
1. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely like always.
2. I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out from exhaustion and you had to come in and get me
3. Blame my bisexuality and move on?
4. we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
2. I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out from exhaustion and you had to come in and get me
3. Blame my bisexuality and move on?
4. we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I make it a point to literally do the exact opposite of everything you do though
1. Don't you DARE use my tequila-influenced words against me
2. So anyway I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
3. As your friend who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
4. Text her!
1. I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent.
2. I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
3. Okay just a heads up theres two different kinds of DRAG RACING one of these things is not like the other btw.
4. help people are starting to question the shark bite story
2. I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
3. Okay just a heads up theres two different kinds of DRAG RACING one of these things is not like the other btw.
4. help people are starting to question the shark bite story
1. I want to throw all of his shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
2. If need a big friend to scare off the creepy people, I would be honored to be that friend.
3. guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
4. Text him!
2. If need a big friend to scare off the creepy people, I would be honored to be that friend.
3. guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
4. Text him!
1. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
2. This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
3. I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
4. I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
2. This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
3. I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
4. I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i. stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ii. Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
iii. So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
iv. Text him!
ii. Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
iii. So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
iv. Text him!
1. Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own quarters
2. I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
3. I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
4. You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by white chocolate and trashy romance novels
5. Today some guy told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself"
6. [Or text her!]
2. I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
3. I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
4. You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by white chocolate and trashy romance novels
5. Today some guy told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself"
6. [Or text her!]
Dildo. Definitely, definitely dildo.
On the other hand, I don't have hair, so this is possibly not very sound advice.
On the other hand, I don't have hair, so this is possibly not very sound advice.
1. So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
2. Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back.
3. I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life.
4. Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
2. Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back.
3. I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life.
4. Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
Edited 2016-11-09 23:01 (UTC)
... I really hope it's not the second one.
But you know. Given my track record uh.
Let's just hope it's the first one?
But you know. Given my track record uh.
Let's just hope it's the first one?
1. ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
2. So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword
3. The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
4. [Text him!]
2. So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword
3. The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
4. [Text him!]
1. [There is no message. Just a selfie of him on planet with some kind of monster right behind him as he dabs. Who the hell taught him this????]
2. I fucked my way into this, I'll fuck my way out.
3. You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
4.Let's play a game of 'I'm totally joking but I would do that in a heartbeat if you are into it.'
5. [Text him!]
2. I fucked my way into this, I'll fuck my way out.
3. You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
4.Let's play a game of 'I'm totally joking but I would do that in a heartbeat if you are into it.'
5. [Text him!]
Edited 2016-11-10 02:02 (UTC)
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